Qwippy

Perhaps Brittany Should Try Yoga

2011-05-06T07:56:00.002-04:00

Brittany Norwood might need to find ways to reduce her stress. Perhaps she should try yoga.

Thursday Norwood was indicted on charges of killing her coworker, Jayna Murray, inside the Bethesda Lululemon Athletica clothing shop specializing in athletic wear for yoga, according to the Associated Press. The Montgomery County indictment on murder as a potential penalty of life in prison.

Caption Contest #1 -- Pin the Tail on the Donkey

2011-04-21T16:46:00.000-04:00

Caption Contest #1-- Best caption wins laser eye surgery, because your retinas may have been burned away. Post your captions in the comments, then pass it on to friends and enemies!

Lunch at the Construction Site

2010-07-14T13:16:00.000-04:00

An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways.

She decided she would take her lunch; sit with the workers; and talk with them.

She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over to the spot where the men were eating. Sporting a big smile, she walked up to the group and asked: "And do you men know Jesus Christ?"

They shook their heads and looked at each other, very confused. One of the workers looked up into the steelworks and yelled out, "Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?"

One of the steelworkers yelled down, "Why?"

The worker yelled back, "Cause his wife's here with his lunch."

Plastic Island, Texan Size, Floating in Pacific Ocean

2009-08-05T11:35:00.003-04:00

If your seafood tastes funny, it might not be because you burned it. Small pieces of plastic trash, leeched from beach litter and ships, are being consumed by fish in the pacific ocean. That hasn't stopped people from catching fish out in the pacific, so the plastic inevitably ends up in the human food chain.

Learn more about how your plastic shopping bags end up on your dinner plate here.

Read this and Feel Smart

2009-07-14T12:52:00.002-04:00

If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius.

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(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"

--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

--Mariah Carey

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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"

-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign .

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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"

--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"

--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC . ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"

--A congressional candidate in Texas .

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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

--Al Gore, Vice President

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"I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix ."

-- Dan Quayle

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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"

--Lee Iacocca

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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."

-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina

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"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas."

--Keppel Enderbery

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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."

--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

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Feeling smarter yet?

Send it on to
your brilliant friends.

I just did !!

Kids Say the Darnest Things

2009-06-25T08:34:00.003-04:00

This is what some children had to say about the ocean...

1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.
(Kelly, age 6)

2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls.

(Jerry, age 6)

3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent.

(Wayne, age 7)

4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more.

(Kylie, age 6)

5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head.

(Billy, age 8)

6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and
comes back with crabs.

(Millie, age 6)

7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans.
(William, age 7)

8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really?
(Helen, age 6)

9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad
keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.

(Amy, age 6)

10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers.

(Christopher, age 7)

11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes
my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)

12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.
(Becky, age 8)

13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass.
(Julie, age 7)

14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know.

(Bobby, age 6)

15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom.

(James, age 7)

Gender Differences at the ATM

2009-06-23T12:32:00.001-04:00

You don't have to go to Mars or Venus to discover the differences between men and women. All you have to do is drive to the nearest ATM. It might make you stare at the person in front of you a bit awkwardly. If you get caught, just direct them to the link!

Pearls of Wisdom

2009-06-22T11:01:00.000-04:00

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

*Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

*Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered - not yelled.

* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

* Always drink upstream from the herd.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

* Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.

Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt on Amazon

2009-06-04T09:18:00.002-04:00

One of the funniest user's submitted items I've seen in a long time was the Three Wolf Moon t-shirt on Amazon. The comments are hilarious.

Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt

This is a great example of internet meme. Read the comments below the t-shirt, then check out the user photos uploaded. I swear, I totally want this t-shirt now. If I order one, I'll post a picture of me wearing it.

If you order one, send me an email at sunfyre@sunfyre.com, and I'll post your photo here too.

Perks of Getting Older

2009-05-26T09:12:00.001-04:00

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
4. People call at 9 pm and ask, "Did I wake you?"
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat supper at 4 pm.
9. You can live without sex but not your glasses. No matter who walks into the room
10. You sing along with elevator music.
11. Your eyes won't get much worse.
12 . Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
13. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
14. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
15. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

Dog Stops Traffic To Protect Injured Mom on NYC Highway

2009-05-19T12:35:00.003-04:00

NYC rush hour traffic got even worse than usual when a a 9-year-old female yellow lab chow mix ran onto the Major Deegan Expressway and was hit by a car. Luckily the dog's son protected her from on coming traffic and even police that were trying to help! Check out the video below to see just how protective the son was of the injured mother! The situation lasted about an hour and surely fueled some fire for road raged stricken NYC drivers! The injured dog is being treated for a broken leg and is expected to recover.

Video link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1GVzlxk10k

Sisters of St. Francis House of Prostitution

2009-05-11T07:41:00.000-04:00

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway in Nevada when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought.

Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 5 MILES

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you, my son?"

He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business."

"Very well my son. Please follow me." He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, "Please knock on this door."

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door. This nun instructs, "Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway."

He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him.

The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:

GO IN PEACE. YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS. SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER!

A 3-year-old tells all from his mother's restroom stall.

2009-04-30T08:13:00.002-04:00

By Shannon Popkin

My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and does it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we are in the library, the grocery store or at a drive-thru window. People often comment on how clearly he speaks for a just-turned-3-year-old. And you never have to ask him to turn up the volume. It's always fully cranked. There have been several embarrassing times that I've wished the meaning of his words would have been masked by a not-so-audible voice, but never have I wished this more than last week at Costco.

Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so I took Cade with me into the restroom. If you'd been one of the ladies in the restroom that evening, this is what you would have heard coming from the second to the last stall:

''Mommy, are you gonna go potty? Oh! Why are you putting toiwet paper on the potty, Mommy? Oh! You gonna sit down on da toiwet paper now? Mommy, what are you doing? Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?''

At this point I started mentally counting how many women had been in the bathroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full ... 4? 5? Maybe we could wait until they all left before I had to make my debut out of this stall and reveal my identity.

Cade continued: ''Mommy, you ARE going stinkies aren't you? Oh, dats a good girl, Mommy! Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the potty? Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh...Mommy! I'm trying to see In dere. Oh! I see dem. Dat is a very good girl, Mommy... You are gonna get some candy!''

I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side of me. Where is a screaming new born when you need her? Good grief. This was really getting embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a long time before exiting. Trying to divert him, I said, ''Why don't you look in Mommy's purse and see if you can find some candy. We'll both have some!''

''No, I'm trying to see doze more stinkies...Oh! Mommy!''

He started to gag at this point.''

Uh-oh, Mommy. I fink I'm gonna frow up. Mommy, doze stinkies are making me frow up!! Dat is so gwoss !''

As the gags became louder, so did the chuckles outside my stall.. I quickly flushed the toilet in hopes of changing thesubject.. I began to reason with myself: OK. There are four other toilets. If I count four flushes, I can be reasonably assured that those who overheard this embarrassing monologue will be long gone.

''Mommy! Would you get off the potty, now? I want you to be done going stinkies! Get up! Get up!''He grunted as he tried to pull me off. Now I could hear full-blown laughter. I bent down to count the feet outside my door. ''Oh, are you wooking under dere, Mommy? You wooking under da door? What were you wooking at? Mommy? You wooking at the wady's feet?''

More laughter. I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess the situation....

''Mommy, it's time to wash our hands, now.. We have to go out now, Mommy.'' He started pounding on the door.

''Mommy, don't you want to wash your hands? I want to go out!!''

I saw that my wait 'em out' plan was unraveling. I sheepishly opened the door, and found standing outside my stall, twenty to thirty ladies crowded around the stall, all smiling and starting to applaud.

My first thought was complete embarrassment, then I thought, where's the fine print on the 'motherhood contract' where I signed away every bit of my dignity and privacy? But as my little boy gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed bubbly soap between his chubby little hands, I thought, I'd sign it all away again, just to be known as Mommy to this little fellow.

(Shannon Popkin is a freelance writer and mother of three She lives with her family in Grand Rapids , Michigan , where she no longer uses public restrooms)

Need a Pill??

2009-04-29T12:28:00.000-04:00

Forgive Your Enemies

2009-04-23T08:44:00.001-04:00

All women should live so long as to be this kind of old lady!

Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?'

About 80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question.

All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.

'Mrs. Neely?'; 'Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?'

I don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly.

'Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?'

'Ninety-eight.' she replied.

'Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?'

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said:

'I outlived the bitches.'

Be Good to Your Mother (Earth): Celebrate Earth Day

2009-04-22T09:54:00.004-04:00

In some ways, the earth is like a well-meaning mom, providing healthy and important stuff like air, water, and living things. And in return—well, we are often not as grateful as we could be. But Earth Day is our chance to show our appreciation for the planet. http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/92492

2009-04-14T10:46:00.003-04:00

Got A Pine Tree Growing In Your Lung?
It's More Likely Than You Think

28-year-old, Artyom Sidorkin, of central Russia, had a 2 inch (5 cm) fir tree growing
inside his lung.

Apparently the hapless Sidorkin had breathed in a seed or small bud.
He sought medical help for severe pain and because he was coughing up blood.
Initially doctors suspected cancer but their suspicions changed when
the biopsy contained "green needles."

15 Crazy Lawsuits that Make You Want to Sue Someone

2009-04-07T09:02:00.000-04:00

n this increasingly litigious society, it takes an astounding mix of talent and gall to make headlines with a lawsuit, but here are 15 examples of frivolous lawsuits that will make you mad enough to sue.

1. Man Sues Family of Boy He Ran Over
January 2008: Spanish businessman Tomas Delgado sued the family of the 17-year-old boy he'd hit and killed for the damage that the boy's body did to his Audi. Delgado was speeding at the time, but since the boy was cycling alone at night without reflectors or a helmet, the driver wasn't charged with anything other than being a complete jerk. Under public pressure, he later dropped his lawsuit.

2. Sleeping Student Sues Teacher for Waking Him Up
March 2008: In Danbury, Connecticut, 15-year-old Vinicios Robacher sued his teacher for slamming her palm on his desk to wake him up during class -- an action that he claimed caused him ear damage.

3. Man Sues Michael Jordan for Looking Like Him
July 2006: Portland, Oregon resident Allen Heckard sued former basketball star Michael Jordan and Nike founder Phil Knight for $832 million, claiming that they have made Jordan such a recognizable figure that he has suffered personal harm from being repeatedly mistaken for the basketball player. Within a month, Heckard had dropped the suit.

4. Mayor of Batman, Turkey Sues Batman
November 2008: The mayor of a city in Turkey called Batman sued Warner Brothers and The Dark Knight director Christopher Nolan for using the name without permission. Either it took the town's residents 70 years to realize the superhero's existence or they just wanted to cash in on The Dark Knight's billion-dollar box office take. You be the judge.

5. Man Sues Homeless for $1 Million
January 2007: Karl Kemp, owner of a ritzy antiques store on Manhattan's Madison Avenue, sued four homeless people who congregate in front of his shop because they scare off potential customers. The amount of the suit: $1 million, payable apparently in shopping carts full of aluminum cans.

6. Inmate Sues Himself
April 1995: Chesapeake, Virginia prison inmate Robert Lee Brock was upset at himself for getting arrested for breaking and entering and grand larceny, so he decided to make himself pay -- by suing himself for $5 million. Stating that he violated his own religious beliefs by committing the crime, he sought payment for a civil rights offense. Of course, since he didn't have $5 million to pay himself, he asked that the state pay on his behalf. His suit was thrown out.

7. Magicians Sued for Stealing God's Powers
June 2005: Reality-challenged Minnesota resident Christopher Roller sued magicians David Copperfield and David Blaine for using Roller's "godly powers" without his permission to perform their acts. Roller, by the way, claimed to be a god. He also claimed that the movie The Truman Show was based on his life and that he was married to both Katie Couric and Celine Dion, with whom he planned to father 1 million babies.

8. Shooter's Mom Seeks Workman's Comp
October 2003: After Jonathon Russell went on a shooting spree at the manufacturing plant where he worked, leaving three dead and five injured, his mother filed for workman's compensation benefits on his behalf, citing his "death by gunfire while on company clock." She was denied.

9. Man Sues Wife for Donated Kidney
January 2009: After Long Island doctor Richard Batista was slapped with divorce papers from his cheating wife, he decided he'd had enough and sued her for the return of a gift he'd give her eight years prior: a kidney. If that wasn't feasible, he'd "settle" for $1.5 million. You're welcome.

10. Insurance Company Sues 81-Year-Old Woman for Icy Driveway
February 2007: A "meals on wheels" program was delivering food to 81-year-old Anne Keipper in Brookfield, Wisconsin when the delivery woman -- who wasn't wearing boots -- slipped on a patch of ice in the driveway and fell. Three years later, Keipper was notified that she was being sued by Sentry Insurance for the medical expenses it paid related to the delivery woman's fall. The moral: senior citizens too frail to leave their house to get food should diligently shovel ice off their driveway.

11. Girls Sued for Baking Cookies
July 2005: Two well-meaning teenage girls in Durango, Colorado decided one summer night to bake cookies for their neighbors. They packaged the baked treats in plastic wrap with a heart-shaped message wishing the recipients a good night. When they knocked at the door of Wanita Renea Young, however, the woman became so terrified that someone was outside her house at 10:30 PM that she suffered an anxiety attack and successfully sued the girls for $930 to cover a trip to the emergency room. Her request for money to cover pain and suffering was denied.

12. Student Sues to Get A+
March 2003: High school senior Brian Delekta was so distraught that he got an A in one of his courses that he sued the school system. He felt he deserved an A+. Delekta, who had the highest GPA in his class at the time, felt that a "mere" A would hurt his chances of becoming the valedictorian. The course in question, incidentally, was a work-study program at a law firm. His supervisor in the position lobbied for him to get an A+, but maybe that's because she's his mother.

13. Musician Sued for Copying Silence
September 2002: Music publishers for the late avant-garde composer John Cage sued musician Mike Batt for plagiarism after he included a silent song on his album. That's right: silence. No music or vocals whatsoever. The publishers claimed that Batt's song, entitled "A Minute's Silence," ripped off Cage's "4'33", which also contained no music or vocals. Despite the seeming insanity of copyrighting silence, Batt agreed to settle out of court by paying a six-figure amount.

14. Man Sues to Inherit the Money of the Mother He Killed
January 2008: In 1999, schizophrenic Joshua Hoge stabbed his mother and half-brother to death but was found not guilty by reason of insanity. Nine years later, as he sat in a mental hospital, he sued to inherit his mother's estate, which included a $800,000 payment received from the state when a court ruled that a public-health clinic that failed to give Hoge his medication was partly responsible for the murders.

15. Mr. Frivolous Lawsuit
January 2006 - present: South Carolina inmate Jonathan Lee Riches has become a celebrity of sorts by filing more than 1,000 frivolous lawsuits while in jail. Some highlights:

August 2007: Sued baseball player Barry Bonds for $42 million for, amongst other things, selling steroids to nuns, giving mustard gas to Saddam Hussien and bench-pressing Riches "to show off in front of his ball park buddies." Hank Aaron's bat, which Riches claimed Bonds used to crack the Liberty Bell, was also named as a defendant in the suit.
September 2007: Sued Elvis Presley for stealing his sideburns, selling him tainted poultry and being in cahoots with Osama Bin Laden. Riches also claims that rap producer Suge Knight hung him from a Econo Lodge balcony with Vanilla Ice and that Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch harbors Hitler's army.
September 2007: Claiming that he is a model and actor who's starred in movies like The Karate Kid, Pee Wee’s Big Adventure and the Paris Hilton sex tape, Riches sued rapper 50 Cent for $35 billion, charging that the musician stole his lyrics and forced him to harass '80s groups Bananarama and Tears for Fears.
And the piece de resistance: in March 2006, Riches sued 57 pages' worth of defendants -- including President George W. Bush, Pope Benedict XVI, Bill Gates, Queen Elizabeth, the Gambino crime family, Three Mile Island, Burt Reynolds, Google, the Salvation Army, the Wu-Tang Clan, the Magna Carta, "tsunami victims," the Kremlin, Nostradamus, the Lincoln Memorial, Nordic gods, Pizza Hut, the European Union, the Methodist Church, Viagra, "ninja samurai fighters" and the planet Pluto -- for an unspecified dollar amount for an unspecified civil rights offense.

In March 2008, the Northern District of Georgia made it difficult for Riches to file such frivolous lawsuits by requiring him to agree to be prosecuted for false statements before he submits, but that hasn't stopped him from filing wacky suits in other districts across the country.

http://www.paralegaltraining.net/blog/15-crazy-lawsuits

Inner Strength

2009-04-02T11:39:00.007-04:00

If you can start your day without caffeine
If you can get going without pep pills
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time
If you can overlook it when those you love take it out on you when through no fault of yours something goes wrong
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment
If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him
If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor one
If you can face the world without lies and deceit
If you can conquer tension without medical help
If you can relax without liquor
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs

...Then You are the family dog!

A sons letter to his Mom

2009-03-24T09:47:00.002-04:00

Dear Mom:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing

you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted

to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I have been finding real

passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would

not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos,

tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older

than I am. But it's not only the passion... Mom

she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood

for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more

children.

Stacy has opened my eye s to the fact that marijuana

doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for

ourselves and trading it with the other people that live

nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray

that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get

better. She deserves it. Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and

I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that

we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your

grandchildren.

Love,

Your Son Paul

P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at

Dustin's house. I just wanted to remind you that there

are worse things in life than the report card that's in

my center desk drawer.

I love you.

Call me when it's safe to come home.

INTERCOURSE, PENNSYLVANIA

2009-03-03T12:53:00.002-05:00

Intercourse is an unincorporated village in Leacock Township, Lancaster County in the U.S. state of Pennsylvania. It is 10 miles east of Lancaster along PA 340.

As with the nearby towns Blue Ball and Paradise, Pennsylvania, Intercourse is a popular site for tourist on account of its location in "Amish Country" Its name had acquired sexual connotations unrelated to the reasons the village was named. Sign posts for the town are frequently targeted by thieves.

The village got its name from the fact that two major roads joined there.

What's the difference between a million, a billion, a trillion?

2009-02-26T09:06:00.002-05:00

How much is a Million?

How much is a Billion?

How much is a Trillion?

A million seconds is 12 days.
A billion seconds is 31 years.
A trillion seconds is 31,688 years.

A million minutes ago was – 1 year, 329 days, 10 hours and 40 minutes ago.
A billion minutes ago was just after the time of Christ.

A million hours ago was in 1885.
A billion hours ago man had not yet walked on earth.

A million dollars ago was five (5) seconds ago at the U.S. Treasury.
A billion dollars ago was late yesterday afternoon at the U.S. Treasury.

A trillion dollars is so large a number that only politicians
can use the term in conversation... probably because they
seldom think about what they are really saying. I've read that
mathematicians do not even use the term trillion!
Here is some perspective on TRILLION:

Trillion = 1,000,000,000,000.
The country has not existed for a trillion seconds.
Western civilization has not been around a trillion seconds.
One trillion seconds ago – 31,688 years – Neanderthals stalked the plains of Europe.

Million: 1,000,000
Billion: 1,000,000,000
Trillion: 1,000,000,000,000
Quintillion: 1,000,000,000,000,000,000
Sextillion: 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
Nonillion: 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
Centillion: 1 followed by 303 zeros

2009-02-17T11:31:00.002-05:00

I found some very funny and pretty unusual pictures - two faces in one - on Stumbled Upon. I’m presuming these are quite old.
http://www.wackyarchives.com/offbeat/upside-down-faces.html

Ever Wonder What Their Thinking ? ? ?

2009-02-10T12:43:00.004-05:00

Just when I think that I've seen it all...

2009-02-06T11:09:00.006-05:00

This is an actual working, fully functional, toilet!!

Available through AquaOne (866-598-3474). $299.
http://homescape.honoluluadvertiser.com/homes/october07/hs1007_st4

Reading the Fine Print!

2009-01-21T10:38:00.001-05:00

QOTD!!

2009-01-12T13:20:00.001-05:00

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive up ATM?

Question of the day...

2009-01-09T13:43:00.003-05:00

If a penny costs 1.26 cents to make, why is it still only worth a penny? If that is the case, why do we continue to make them?

I Believe

2008-12-15T13:47:00.000-05:00

I believe-
that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I believe—
that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I believe—
that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I believe—
that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I believe—
that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I believe—
that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I believe—
That you can keep going long after you can't.

I believe—
That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I believe—
that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I believe—
that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I believe—
that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I believe—
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I believe—
that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I believe—
that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.

I believe—
that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I believe—
that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I believe—
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I believe—
that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I believe—
that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I believe—
that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I believe—
That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I believe—
that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I believe—
that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I believe—
that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I believe—
that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I believe—
that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I believe—
that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

The Great Escape!

2008-12-12T09:05:00.002-05:00

He finally did it!!

Laws of Yesterday

2008-12-01T15:42:00.005-05:00

Here are a few state laws that were put on the books from years gone by... most of which have been rescinded. But some have not, so be careful out there!

In Oklahoma, dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate on private property in groups of three or more.
In Minnesota, it is illegal to cross state lines with a duck on your head.
It is illegal to walk down a street in Maine with your shoelaces untied.
In Los Angeles, it is unlawful to hunt for moths under a street light.
In Pennsylvania, it is illegal for a man to purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife.
In Alaska, it is illegal to look at a moose from the window of an aircraft or another flying vehicle. It is also illegal to push a live moose out of a moving aircraft.
In Nebraska, a parent can be arrested if his or her child can't hold a back a burp during a church service. While in Alabama it is illegal to wear a false moustache which causes laughter in church.
In Idaho, a citizen is forbidden by law to give another citizen a box of candy that weights more than 50 lbs.
In Texas it is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
In Huntington West Virginia, it's legal to beat your wife so long as it's done in public on a Sunday-and on the courthouse steps.
In Ohio, women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.
In North Dakota, it is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
By law, everybody in Vermont must take at least one bath a week.

2008-11-24T11:29:00.003-05:00

Mental Heuristics
A heuristic is a "rule-of-thumb", advice that helps an AI program or human think and act more efficiently by directing thinking in an useful direction.

Some of these heuristics are age-old wisdom, bordering on cliche, but most are actually helpful.

If you want something done, do it yourself
Comment: Obviously true, and doing it is usually very good for your self esteem. A surprising amount of work can be done this way, and experts are not always necessary. However, there is a risk of becoming overworked if you try to do everything yourself - we all need other people after all.

Never procrastinate anything you can do right now
Comment: Very powerful. There are many things that can be fixed or solved with a minimum of effort, but are often pushed aside as unimportant. Unfortunately they won't go away, and in time the feelings of guilt for not having done them will make you even less likely of fixing the problems.

When you have several things you could be doing and don't know which to do: Just do any one of them!
Comments: If you cannot decide between two or more possibilities, then there is a good chance that the differences don't matter. However, most people begin to hesitate in this kind of situation (Fredkin's paradox). If you are conscious of this, you can just choose one choice randomly or according to some standard method.

Always assume that you will succeed
Comments: If you don't expect to succeed in an endeavor, then you will not do your best and will not notice possible solutions, while if you feel that you will eventually succeed you will concentrate all your power at the problem. Of course, there is no point in attempting what you cannot do, a certain amount of self-knowledge is always needed.

If you can't find a solution, change the rules.
Comment: Remember that there are no no-win scenarios.

If you cannot do anything about something, there is no point in worrying about it.
Comment: Worrying is stressful, and in most situations doesn't accomplish anything - it just wastes energy. Instead of worrying about things, either do something about them or find ways around the problem. One useful idea is to write down your worries on slips of paper, and then put them away in a box. Regularly, once a week or so, you open the box and see what you can do about the worries that are still relevant.

Do not rely on conscious decisions for speed - Just Do It
Comments: The conscious mind is surprisingly slow, conscious choices and actions are delayed for a significant time (a reflex acts within some tens of milliseconds, an unconscious reaction to external stimuli circa 100 milliseconds and a conscious choice several seconds). The duty of the conscious mind is usually to inhibit rather than start action, and if you become too conscious of what you are doing in a tense situation you will hesitate or slow down.

It is a good idea to learn to rely on your non-conscious mind, since our conscious mind is slow and has very low bandwidth while the other systems in our brains have a tremendous capacity and actually do most of the real work anyway.

Don't try to explain away your actions for yourself
Comment: While we often do things we do not want to explain our real motivations for before other people (out of fear of embarrassment, anger or loss of image), it is a bad idea to try to convince oneself that the motivation was anything different from what it was. It will only reduce your self-knowledge with deliberate misinformation, and it is often valuable to understand what motivations you have (even if you dislike them or would never admit them in public).

Listen to your intuition, but do not believe it unconditionally
Comments: Intuitive or emotional thinking, analogies, "gut feelings" or "flashes of inspiration" can sometimes give fantastic new insights or show problems from a new direction. Unfortunately such thinking isn't always reliable, and quite often completely wrong! Such insights should never be accepted because you admire their beauty or they are intuitive, only because they fit with reality.

20 Questions You Should Ask Yourself

2008-11-06T08:50:00.004-05:00

At the cusp of new beginnings many of us take time to reflect on our lives by looking back over the past and ahead into the future. We ponder the successes, failures and standout events that are slowly scripting our life’s story. This process of self reflection helps maintain a conscious awareness of where we’ve been and where we intend to go.

Here are 20 questions for you to help maximize the benefits of self reflection. These questions should be reviewed every Sunday morning or sometime during the weekend when you have some quiet time to think.

1. What did I learn last week? – If you have trouble answering this question, it’s time for a change. It doesn’t matter how old you are, you should learn something new every week.
2. What was my greatest accomplishment over the past week? – Reflecting on your accomplishments is a healthy way to raise self confidence and contentment. It’s also an effective way to track your progress.
3. Which moment from last week was the most memorable and why? – It may open up your mind to new passions and goals, or simple pastimes worth revisiting.
4. What’s the #1 thing I need to accomplish this week? – Everything else is secondary, and should be treated as such. Nevertheless, this question will also shine light on other noteworthy tasks.
5. What can I do right now to make the week less stressful? – Set reminders in your calendar, get your laundry done, fill the car with gas… organize yourself.
6. What have I struggled with in the past that might also affect the upcoming week? – The idea here is to learn from your struggles and better equip yourself for future encounters.
7. What was last week’s biggest time sink? – Steer clear of this in the future. Setup physical barriers against distractions if you have to.
8. Am I carrying any excess baggage into the week that can be dropped? – Physical clutter, mental clutter… eliminate the unnecessary so the necessary may shine bright.
9. What have I been avoiding that needs to get done? – Pencil in a time to get these things done. For any 2-minute or less tasks, consider scheduling them first thing Monday morning.
10. What opportunities are still on the table? – If it’s still available and you want it, make a concrete plan to go after it this week.
11. Is there anyone I’ve been meaning to talk to? – Regular communication can solve problems before they fester. Always keep an open line of communication to those around you.
12. Is there anyone that deserves a big ‘Thank You’? – Take time each week to thank the people who have helped you. Your kind gesture will not go unnoticed.
13. How can I help someone else this coming week? – The easiest way to get what you want is to help others get what they want. If you help them, they will remember you when you need help.
14. What are my top 3 goals for the next 3 years? – You’ll never make any progress in life if you don’t setup realistic goals for yourself.
15. Have any of my recent actions moved me closer to my goals? – If the answer is no, something needs to change.
16. What’s the next step for each goal? – Knowing the next step is the key to accomplishing the whole.
17. What am I looking forward to during the upcoming week? – The answer can act as a great source of motivation. If nothing exists, schedule something to look forward to.
18. What are my fears? – Consciously address your fears each week and slowly work on resolving them. It’s all about taking baby steps.
19. What am I most grateful for? – It’s a smart way to keep things in perspective, and something you should never lose sight of.
20. If I knew I only had one week to live, who would I spend my time with? – Another helpful reminder… Life is short. Spend more time with the people you care about.

Seeing Double

2008-10-31T09:24:00.003-04:00

Something fun for a Friday.
When you get a minute check this out!

http://www.voicingopinions.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=1367

The Real Mother Goose

2008-09-22T08:18:00.000-04:00

Mother Goose was actually a real person - her name was Elizabeth Goose and she lived in Massachusetts in the 1600's.

The Lion King trivia

2008-09-22T08:14:00.000-04:00

Simba's Toucan chaperone, Zazu, was played by Rowan Atikinson of Mr. Bean fame.

Shark Tale Trivia

2008-09-22T08:07:00.000-04:00

In the movie Shark Tale, Lenny coughs up a license plate with the registration "007 981". This is the same plate found inside the Tiger shark in the movie Jaws.

"Am I" or "I Am"?

2008-09-19T16:31:00.001-04:00

Listen to these questions...

Am I giving?
Am I touching others in a positive way?
Am I appreciative?
Am I genuine?
Am I connecting with my family and friends?
Am I achieving my goals?
Am I attracting the right people?

Now read these statements aloud...

I am genuine. I am giving. I am appreciative.
I am connected to my friends and family.
I am touching others in a positive way.
I am attracting the right people.
I am achieving my goals.

The same words sound different as they roll off your tongue. The emotions they generate in your brain is different. The way you feel about yourself is dramatically different.

Everyone is looking for the next great diet, the next super food, or the next magic pill.

For me, I'm looking to change the words I use to change my life. It's working. I'm growing. I'm becoming financially independent. I'm earning respect and admiration by giving to others. Finally, I'm doing good in the world and the world is rewarding me.

I don't have the magic pill or super system, or even all the answers. But I am putting together the pieces. If this message makes sense to you, I encourage you to check out this link. I was skeptical, but 21 days ago I took a small leap forward.

Send Out Cards

Barbie's Real Name

2008-09-13T08:55:00.000-04:00

The popular doll, Barbie's real name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

World Peace Versus Soccer

2008-09-13T08:51:00.000-04:00

The international football (soccer) governing body, FIFA, has more member countries than the United Nations.

The World's Oldest Boomerang

2008-09-13T08:46:00.000-04:00

The world's oldest boomerang surprisingly doesn't come from Australia. The oldest boomerang ever discovered was found in the Carpathian Mountains in Poland. It's believed to be 20,000 years old.

First Breakfast Cereal

2008-09-13T08:43:00.000-04:00

In 1863, an early version of Grape-Nuts was produced called Granula. This was the first breakfast cereal ever produced.

Ice Cream Consumption

2008-09-13T08:40:00.000-04:00

The top two countries in the ice cream consumption are the USA and New Zealand. The average American eats 23 L per year of ice cream. The average New Zealander eats 20 L per year.

Children Write About the Sea

2008-07-21T08:43:00.000-04:00

So help me, I can see the teacher's eyes as she reads these entries!!!

Children write about the sea:

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)

5) A dolphin breaths through an a** hole on the top of its head. (Billy age 7)

6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs. (Millie age 6)

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William age 7)

8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. And how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen age 6)

9) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)

10) On our holiday my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her bottom. (Julie age 7)

Low Calorie Ice Cream

2008-06-11T09:07:00.002-04:00

Do you love ice cream, but hate gaining weight? Here are four suggestions for low calorie, low fat ice cream that actually doesn't taste like dirt. If you're trying to lose weight but can't resist, this is the ice cream for you.

Edy's Slow Churned Light Ice Cream (Caramel Delight) = 105 calories & 3.5 grams fat per 1/2 cup serving
Breyer's Light Ice Cream (Vanilla, Chocolate, Strawberry) = 100 calories & 3.5 grams fat per 1/2 cup serving
Skinny Cow Lowfat Fudge Bar = 100 calories & 1 gram fat
Starbucks Frappucino Mocha Bar = 120 calories & 1.5 grams of fat

Classifieds

2008-06-11T08:59:00.000-04:00

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER: 8 years old. Hateful little beast. Bites!

FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES: Mother, AKC German shepherd. Father, Super Dog...able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG: Looks like a rat. Been out a while. Better be a big reward.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED: Also 1 gay bull for sale.

NORDIC TRACK $300: Hardly used, call Chubby.

GEORGIA PEACHES California grown: 89 cents/lb.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE: Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.

And the best one:

FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, Got married last month. Wife knows everything.

Learn to Control Your Anger

2008-05-25T17:42:00.001-04:00

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence

He said, 'you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say 'I'm sorry', the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one."

Two Wishes

2008-05-22T17:46:00.000-04:00

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders. The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $6.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again.

"The usual?" asks the waitress.

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad," says the man, "same for me," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, "That will be $12.62." Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer.

"Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."

The Tough Teacher

2008-05-19T16:54:00.001-04:00

A schoolteacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school.

Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with deskwork. The classroom became a bit unruly and he admonished them. This happened several times.

As he worked at his desk, the strong breeze from the window made his tie flap annoyingly. He kept rearranging and rearranging the tie as the class raised its level of unruliness.

Finally, becoming disgusted with the wayward tie, he stood up and took a big stapler off his desk and stapled the tie to his chest in several places.

Discipline was not a problem from that day forth.

Cutting Back on Expenses

2008-05-19T16:52:00.000-04:00

After the last child was born, she told me we had to cut back on expenses - I had to give up drinking beer. I was not a big drinker, maybe a 12-pack on weekends. Anyway, I gave it up.

I noticed the other day when she came home from grocery shopping, the receipt included $45 in makeup.

I said, "Wait a minute I've given up beer and you haven't given up anything!"

She said, "I buy that makeup for you, so I can look pretty for you."

I told her, "Heck, that's what the beer was for!"

New Bar In Town

2008-05-06T16:23:00.002-04:00

In a small mid-western conservative town, a new tavern started a building to open up their business. The local Baptist church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers. Work progressed, however, right up till the week before opening, when a lightning strike hit the bar and it burned to the ground.

The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, 'til the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means.

The church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the buildings demise in its reply to the court.

As the case made it's way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing and commented, "I don't know how I'm going to decide this, but as it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner that believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that doesn't!"

A Priest, a Minister and a Rabbi

2008-03-24T10:51:00.000-04:00

A Priest, a Minister and a Rabbi from one city were taking a car ride to a conference on world religions. On the highway they were in an accident.

First the Priest steps out, makes the sign of the cross and says, "Oh, God, thank you for letting us survive." Then the Minister crosses himself and says, "Thank you dear Lord for protecting us."

Finally the Rabbi steps out and likewise makes the sign of the cross. The Priest and Minister look at each other. Baffled, the Minister says, "We thought you didn't believe in that."

To which the Rabbi responds, "Ach no, I was just checking to make sure I have everything -- spectacles, testicles, wallet, and watch!"

Earn $1 Million Online, like Jason.

2008-02-23T23:59:00.004-05:00

Check out this new blog called Jason's Million. Jason Tweed is trying to earn $1 million online by blogging. He is literally giving away all his marketing techniques he has used to make money online. He invites you to steal his ideas and use them yourself.

Here's how you can help Jason earn $1 million.

Visit www.JasonsMillion.com.
Click on the advertisements if you find an interesting.
Subscribe to the newsletter, I did.
Link to him from your own blog or website.
Send an e-mail to all your friends asking them to visit the blog.
Post a link on your favorite social networking or social bookmarking site.
Subscribe to the RSS feed.
Post your own comments on his entries.

Follow his tips, and make $1 million of your own.

Cool Dice Stacking Video

2008-02-23T19:51:00.003-05:00

I have a lot of friends with strange talents, but I've never seen someone stack dice this way. Take about a dozen standard dice, a couple of plastic cups, and various household props and see what you can do.

This is one you definitely should try at home.

Here's your dice stacking video.

Punxsutawney Phil predicts six more weeks of winter

2008-02-02T11:27:00.000-05:00

Groundhog Day is here. And it's time for the groundhog's prediction.

Punxsutawney Phil came out of his hiding place early this morning and predicted six more weeks of winter. He saw his shadow and made this prediction.

"As I look around me, a bright sky I see, and a shadow beside me.
Six more weeks of winter it will be!"

Visit Punxsutawney Phil's official website and read the entire prediction.

Nine Phrases Women Use That Men Don't Understand

2007-12-03T17:24:00.000-05:00

1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This means "something", and you should be on your toes. This is the calm before the storm. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but men often misunderstand it as non-verbal statement. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say "you're welcome."

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking, "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

Submitted by Owen

10 Easy Steps to STOP Shopping Addiction and Compulsive Spending (Shopaholism)

2007-12-03T08:01:00.000-05:00

by Marie-Claire Cooper

Do you own every gadget known to man (or woman)? Does your closet contain lots of shoes or clothes that you almost never wear? Are you feeling lost without credit cards? Do you come home with things you didn't specifically go to buy? Do you use shopping as a quick fix for the blues? Do you spend more than you can afford? Are neighborhood malls and Internet shopping sites possess a mesmerizing magnetic appeal for you?

If you answered yes to several questions above, you are probably shopping as a recreational activity. You have a condition called Oniomania. It is also known as shopping addiction or shopaholism, is the compulsive desire to shop. People who shop or spend compulsively get a feeling of being "high" from the experience. This translates into endorphins and dopamine, natural receptor sites in the brain, getting turned on, creating a "good feeling" and reinforcing the desire to shop or spend.

Credit cards facilitate the spending of money as well as mail orders via catalogues or the Internet. In America, shopping is embedded in our culture; so often, the impulsiveness comes out as shopping addiction or compulsive spending. Shopping addiction and compulsive spending can put a strain on both your finances and your relationships. In other words, shopping addicts buy more than they need and spend more money than they can afford, in an effort to make themselves feel better. It can wreak havoc on a person's life, family, and finances.

Here are the 10 simple steps to stop the cycle of shopping addiction and compulsive spending:

1. Identify a “need” from a “want.” Learn to recognize wants from needs, and practice controlling your impulses to spend your money on things you don't really need, and you'll be able to change your spending habits and end up far ahead financially. Before buying anything, ask yourself if it is a need or a want. If it is a want, let go of the item.

A need is something you have to buy, such as groceries. It may also be a new pair of shoes to wear to the office if your present pair is no longer in good condition. A want, on the other hand, is something you just desire but can do without. Examples are a new CD or DVD, a nice-looking hand bag when you have a dozen other hand bags at home, and a cellphone that’s loaded with so many features.

2. If you know you have a problem, try to avoid discount warehouses, malls and shopping districts. Avoid going to the mall if you don’t have to buy something you absolutely need. Even if you have to get a ride from the mall on the way home from work, don’t go inside the mall. Go around the perimeter of the mall instead to get to the bus stop. If you need to go to the bank, go to one that’s not located in the mall. Do the same for other establishments you patronize for other services (e.g., clothes alteration, key duplication, etc.). If you have to meet friends, pick venues that are far from the nearest mall. Avoid temptation.

3. Do not be sucked in by “good deals.” Avoid the sales unless absolutely necessary. Even if your favorite shop is on sale, don’t go there “just to look.” Make your shopping purposeful: think beforehand what you need to buy, make the purchase, then leave.

4. Set a spending budget and stick to it. List down your monthly income, set aside at least 10 percent for savings, then list down all your regular expenses (transportation, food, etc.). Make sure you set aside money for your regular expenses first before even thinking of going to the mall. Be disciplined.

5. When buying gifts; ask, find out whether your friend or loved ones have a registry or wish list, or simply inquire what they'd like. This will help you to not only get the gift they really want; it will also help you to zero in on what you need to buy. Your gift won't be original, or a big surprise, but it will not be the one that gathers dust afterward, either.

6. Start writing things down. Tally your actual expenses every month. This will help you determine where your money goes. You can see too how much you can save on some items and where you’ve spent more than you should. It’s also wise to write down your financial goals so you stay focused on what’s important.

7. Carry a shopping list. Try to plan your shopping. If you’re going to shop for groceries, make a list before going to the supermarket. Then stick to your list. Don’t buy anything else. Remember: If it’s not on your list, then you don’t need it. Try leaving your credit cards at home. Pay with cash, check, or a debit card.

8. Find healthy alternatives. Make yourself busy with other activities. Take a walk or exercise when the urge to shop comes on. After work, go home straight then just relax by reading a book or educational TV shows. In this way, you won’t have to unwind in the mall after a long day’s work.

9. Seek support. Ask a friend or family member to keep you accountable. You need someone’s help to make sure you’re taking steps to curb your impulse buying. If you must go shopping at a place that’s especially tempting for you, bring along a trusted friend who knows how much you’re struggling, and ask your friend to help you stick to your shopping list when shopping.

10. Give yourself a simple reward but don’t over indulge. If you have followed these tips after a month or two, reward yourself with something to make you feel good. It doesn’t have to be expensive (remember: you have a budget to follow!). It can be as simple as a trip to the spa or a movie date with a good friend. It doesn’t even have to be a purchase at the nearest mall.

Remember that shopping addiction or compulsive spending can be stopped or minimized. The despair can be ended through successful treatment and people can be restored to normal life. As with other addictions, success follows an honest admission of the problem and the seeking of help from others.

Source: 10 Easy Steps to STOP Shopping Addiction and Compulsive Spending (Shopaholism)

Kids and Cops

2007-11-30T13:55:00.000-05:00

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?"

"Yes," I answered and continued writing the report.

"My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?"

"Yes, that's right." I told her.

"Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me

"Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked.

"It sure is," I replied.

Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

Submitted by Trooper Tom

Quotes about Science

2007-11-29T15:36:00.000-05:00

Science is facts; just as houses are made of stones, so is science made of facts; but a pile of stones is not a house and a collection of facts is not necessarily science.
-- Henri Poincare, French mathematician & physicist (1854 - 1912)

I maintain there is much more wonder in science than in pseudoscience. And in addition, to whatever measure this term has any meaning, science has the additional virtue, and it is not an inconsiderable one, of being true.
-- Carl Sagan, US astronomer & popularizer of astronomy (1934 - 1996)

Science may set limits to knowledge, but should not set limits to imagination.
-- Bertrand Russell, British author, mathematician, & philosopher (1872 - 1970)

Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.
-- Immanuel Kant, German philosopher (1724 - 1804)

Perfect as the wing of a bird may be, it will never enable the bird to fly if unsupported by the air. Facts are the air of science. Without them a man of science can never rise.
--Ivan Pavlov, Russian physiologist (1849 - 1936)

The cloning of humans is on most of the lists of things to worry about from Science, along with behaviour control, genetic engineering, transplanted heads, computer poetry and the unrestrained growth of plastic flowers.
-- Lewis Thomas, US author, biologist, physician (1913 - 1993)

As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life - so I became a scientist. This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls.
-- M. Cartmill

I am among those who think that science has great beauty. A scientist in his laboratory is not only a technician: he is also a child placed before natural phenomena which impress him like a fairy tale.
-- Marie Curie, French (Polish-born) chemist & physicist (1867 - 1934)

Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.
-- Martin Luther King Jr., Strength to Love, 1963, US civil rights leader & clergyman (1929 - 1968)

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
-- Paul Dirac, English physicist in US (1902 - 1984)

Zen: The Muddy Road

2007-11-26T16:30:00.000-05:00

Two Buddhist monks, Tanzan and Ekido, were once traveling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was still falling.

Coming around a bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection.

"Come on, girl," said Tanzan at once. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud.

Ekido did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he no longer could restrain himself. "We monks don't do near females," he told Tanzan, "especially not young and lovely ones. It is dangerous. Why did you do that?"

"I left the girl there," said Tanzan. "Are you still carrying her?"

SUV Owner is at least Honest

2007-11-25T09:41:00.000-05:00

SUV seen near Lincoln, Nebraska.

10 Things to Do with That Old Computer

2007-11-24T12:28:00.000-05:00

One of the constants in this world is the fact that technology will change, and it will change quickly. The average lifespan of a computer these days is between 2 to 5 years. Since technology is changing so quickly this equates to a lot of garbage from your old computers. Here are a few ideas of what you can do with your old computers instead of sending them to the garbage dump.

1. Create a Server

If you’re into web development or gaming you could turn your old computer into a server. The easiest way to do this would be to install a server OS and possibly buy a few new parts to make it run a little quicker. After this connect it to the internet and away you go. Here are a few tips on setting up your own server.

2. Play Multiplayer Games

Get a family member or friend playing along with you on your favourite multiplayer games. Make sure that your old computer can handle whatever games you’re wanting to play before getting the other person. Most web-based games should work fine on your old system.

3. Install a Different Operating System

Here’s your chance to get to know a different OS. If you’re a Windows person you could install a version of Linux on your old machine. Linux supports a wide range of older hardware. Debian Linux is well suited to slower machines, and it is also friendly and well documented enough for beginners. If you’re a Mac person you could try out Windows XP, or maybe even Windows 98 (old school).

4. Donate Your Old Computer
If you really have no use for your old machine, call your local school or school district and see if they want it. Many districts have minimum donation standards, so be sure to ask. Some PC makers have their own donation programs. Gateway buyers can request a donation form, which, when validated by a recycling center or charity group, entitles them to discounts on future purchases. This will get the computer out of your hands and will help someone out (maybe even giving you a little cash).

5. Turn it into an Aquarium

Lately people have been turning their old CRT monitors into really cool aquariums. Basically you take a perfectly fine but old Cathode Ray Tube monitor, strip it of all of its parts (except for the glass at the front), make it so it doesn’t leak and fill it with a plethora of colourful fish. The upside of this is that you get a really cool aquarium in your house, the problem is with the construction. Unless you build a box and place it inside the monitor, making it leak proof can be a very hard job.

6. Create a media center

Turn your old computer into a media center. Large hard drives are becoming cheaper and cheaper. If you want to upgrade to a new computer but don’t want to leave your old computer in the dust you could just slap in a few large hard drives and turn it into a repository for all of your media. Using Windows XP Media Center you can hook up your TV to your old computer and watch all of the movies you’ve “bought legally” and all of the music files that you’ve downloaded bought.

7. Create a Render Farm

If you’re into editing videos or graphics this will mean more than to your everyday user. A render farm is basically a cluster of computers that are used for the purposes of rendering graphics and/or video. If you had 5 old computers you could network them together and render your videos roughly 5x faster than before. While the cost of electricity, the excess heat caused from having this many computers, and the extra room needed might make you wary of having this many computers, the benefits can be greatly than the costs. Frantic Films provides a great suite of software for your render farm.

8. Take it apart

If you really want to know how a computer works you could take it apart. I’ve taken apart five or six old computers and it really helps you understand how a computer works. Did you ever wonder how a CPU is connected to a motherboard? Are you not sure how to remove a hard drive? Do you want to practice inserting and removing RAM modules? An older computer is an excellent practice PC for maintenance and upgrades.

9. Make an office mascot

This one might seem silly/stupid to some people but I’m being totally serious. During those long days of compiling your code why not make an office mascot out of your old computer. You could dress it up, attach things to it, maybe even attach it to an RC car and have it zoom around. Get create and I’m sure you’ll have your co-workers laughing at you in no time (maybe they’ll help create it).

10. Drop it from a high building

This is my personal favourite but shouldn’t be done without adult supervision. Now of course if you are an adult go right ahead! Dropping your old computer from a high building can have extremely satisfying results. While this might not be the most environmentally friendly alternative it can provide extremely exciting results as it slams into the earth and smashes into a million pieces. To prep the crash area make sure there is no one standing there. Then drop away and watch it fall to its inevitable grave.

13 Signs You Overdid Thanksgiving

2007-11-23T14:54:00.000-05:00

You ate the turkey, the pop-up thermometer and the plastic net.
All your silverware is worn down to tiny stumps.
You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth's axis.
Paramedics brought in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of your chair.
The "Gravy Boat" your wife set out was a real 12' boat!
The potatoes you used, set off another famine in Ireland.
You set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog Friday.
Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.
This morning, the display on your bathroom scale read, "Good Lord!"
You now have a butt the size of Plymouth Rock.
People keep looking at you and saying, "I thought the Macy's Parade was over."
Your relatives can't go home because they're stuck in your gravitational field.
Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice.

Funny Quotes

2007-11-17T12:11:00.000-05:00

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
- George Carlin

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
- Steven Wright

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it.
- Clarence Darrow

There’s so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?
- Dick Cavett

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
- Anthony Burgess

5 Women She Hates - Managing Jealousy

2007-11-14T08:29:00.000-05:00

Jealousy on the part of your significant other can sabotage your best female friendships. Here's how to smooth over your relationship.

1. The Leggy Coworker

Why she's worried: Your sexy office gal pal has unfettered access to half of your weekday, and your girl fears this face time can spark a cubicle romance.

Ease her fears: Play show and tell. Give your girl a guided tour of the office, introduce her to your coworkers — including Legs — and end at your desk, where she'll find a prominently displayed picture of herself. It's a talisman that wards off flirty office workers, says Dorian Solot, author of I Love Female Orgasm. "It shows her she's on your mind while you're on the clock."

2. The College Cohort

Why she's worried: You spent 4 boozy, sexually charged years with this girl, who knows the secret handshake and dated half of your fraternity. What's more, unlike your girl, she has a standing invitation to game day and poker night.

Ease her fears: Paint the friend as a mascot, not a romantic interest, says Susan F. Benjamin, author of Perfect Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People. And invite your gal to a few college game parties, so she'll see that the cutie sits squarely in your "like-a-sister" category.

3. The Matriarch

Why she's worried: Your woman feels resentful about her own need to impress your mom.

Ease her fears: Ship your ladies off to a wine tasting together (find one in your city at localwineevents.com). Each wants to win the other's approval, which can lead to insecurities and false perceptions, says Gini Graham Scott, Ph.D., author of Disagreements, Disputes and All-out War. A retreat with some vino will melt away any hangups.

4. The Facebook Fox

Why she's worried: You've dutifully declared you're "in a relationship" on your MySpace or Facebook profile. But she worries it means nothing to the harem of cybervixens on your friends list.

Ease her fears: Let her plant a flag in your digital world. If they're not online, too, girlfriends and wives place these sites just a notch above porn. Help her create her own page and bump her up to the top of your friends list.

5. The Gym Goddess

Why she's worried: Your trainer is single and oozes sexuality from every pore. You may say her post-workout chats are harmless, but your girlfriend knows better (and so do you, playa).

Ease her fears: Play matchmaker and set her up with a friend, says Solot. Face it: You're taken, and she's a temptress. Best to try this under-utilized brushoff, which will allow you two to still chat at the gym. The move takes her off your gal's worry list.

Reprinted from Men's Health Magazine

Quotes from John F. Kennedy

2007-11-13T08:10:00.000-05:00

"We must never forget that art is not a form of propaganda; it is a form of truth."

"When we got into office, the thing that surprised me the most was that things were as bad as we'd been saying they were."

"Let us think of education as the means of developing our greatest abilities, because in each of us there is a private hope and dream which, fulfilled, can be translated into benefit for everyone and greater strength for our nation. "

"The American, by nature, is optimistic. He is experimental, an inventor and a builder who builds best when called upon to build greatly."

"The ignorance of one voter in a democracy impairs the security of all."

"The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word 'crisis.' One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger - but recognize the opportunity."

"All of us have in our veins the exact same percentage of salt in our blood that exists in the ocean, and, therefore, we have salt in our blood, in our sweat, in our tears. We are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea -- whether it is to sail or to watch it -- we are going back from whence we came."

--John F. Kennedy (1917-1963)

It Takes More Than Wishes to Do the Dishes

2007-11-13T00:08:00.000-05:00

I remember watching these little videos. I think they were part of Rocky and Bullwinkle. Enjoy.

Veterans' Day Thoughts

2007-11-12T22:20:00.000-05:00

Here's just a few things to remember on Veterans' Day.

When we have men and women serving overseas, they are easy to remember. But we also have to remember the men and women who have served in the past. This holiday is for every veteran.

The wars get less bloody, but the media coverage increases. While men and women killed in Iraq and Afghanistan are tragedies, Vietnam was worse. Korea was worse than Vietnam. World War II was far worse and Korea. Don't forget those who have served in battles that never made it to our television screens.

Wars are not fought over oil. Wars are fought over the blood, and sweat of our soldiers. Oil is just a catalyst.

There are lots of military personnel who protect us, and not all of them are in a desert. Besides the Army, Marines, Navy and Air Force, don't forget about the Coast Guard and National Guard. There are men and women protecting us from homegrown terrorism, organized crime, and even natural disasters.

More veterans have served during peace time than during times of war.

The first veterans served with George Washington. They captured our freedom. Every veteran since then has only had to defend it.

One of the main reasons September 11 shook us to our core is that we didn't feel safe. Americans have the luxury of feeling safe. We are virtually the only country in the world where safety is an expectation rather than a privilege. This is in large degree a credit to the men and women who put themselves in places that are not safe.

Share with us your comments!

What God can do with $0.57

2007-11-12T10:07:00.000-05:00

A little girl stood near a small church from which she had been turned away because it was 'too crowded.' 'I can't go to Sunday School,' she sobbed to the pastor as he walked by.

Seeing her shabby, unkempt appearance, the pastor guessed the reason and, taking her by the hand, took her inside and found a place for her in the Sunday school class. The child was so happy that they found room for her, and she went to bed that night thinking of the children who have no place to worship Jesus.

Some two years later, this child lay dead in one of the poor tenement buildings. Her parents called for the kindhearted pastor who had befriended their daughter to handle the final arrangements.

As her poor little body was being moved, a worn and crumpled red purse was found which seemed to have been rummaged from some trash dump.

Inside was found 57 cents and a note, scribbled in childish handwriting, which read: 'This is to help build the little church bigger so more children can go to Sunday School.'

For two years she had saved for this offering of love.

When the pastor tearfully read that note, he knew instantly what he would do.

Carrying this note and the cracked, red pocketbook to the pulpit, he told the story of her unselfish love and devotion

He challenged his deacons to get busy and raise enough money for the larger building.

But the story does not end there.

A newspaper learned of the story and published it. It was read by a wealthy realtor who offered them a parcel of land worth many thousands of dollars.

When told that the church could not pay so much, he offered to sell it to the little church for 57 cents.

Church members made large donations. Checks came from far and wide. Within five years the little girl's gift had increased to $250,000.00--a huge sum for that time (near the turn of the century). Her unselfish love had paid large dividends.

When you are in the city of Philadelphia, look up Temple Baptist Church, with a seating capacity of 3,300. And be sure to visit Temple University, where thousands of students are educated.

Have a look, too, at the Good Samaritan Hospital and at a Sunday School building which houses hundreds of beautiful children, built so that no child in the area will ever need to be left outside during Sunday school time.

In one of the rooms of this building may be seen the picture of the sweet face of the little girl whose 57 cents, so sacrificially saved, made such remarkable history Alongside of it is a portrait of her kind pastor, Dr. Russell H. Conwell, author of the book, 'Acres of Diamonds'.

This is a true story, which goes to show WHAT GOD CAN DO WITH 57 CENTS.

Anthony Bourdain on Rachael Ray

2007-11-11T20:59:00.000-05:00

Anthony Bourdain is self described "old-school French Chef". He has a show, on the Travel Channel, where he eats all kinds of strange things from all over the world.

In this week's Time magazine he was asked "Why do you always pick on Rachael Ray?"

He said "She can take it. She's incredibly powerful and far more loved than I am. But she genuinely offends me. Julia Child, for example, raised people's expectations of food. When Rachael tells you that it's perfectly okay to buy a pre-chopped onion from the supermarket... I mean, how hard is it to chop an onion? The takeaway is, I could cook, but [instead] I'll finish this bag of Cheetos and that gallon of Diet Pepsi before dying of diabetes."

Armenian Genocide

2007-11-10T21:06:00.000-05:00

Recently there was legislation put forth by the U.S. Congress that would hold present day Turkey responsible for genocide that occurred over the Armenian people at the hands of the Ottoman Empire. While it's certainly important for governments responsible for the way they treat people under their rule, this is a slippery slope for Americans.

Here's a quote from a letter to the editor of Time magazine that I think summarizes it well.

"This misguided legislation is one of the reasons countries around the world sees the US as hypocritical and sanctimonious. Why don't we look in the mirror to see our gross mistreatment of Native Americans, Chinese, Japanese and Africans? Better to continue working with the Turks while encouraging them to repudiate the events of 1915, much as we strive to overcome the consequences of having enslaved the ancestors of 12% of our population. Honesty is the best policy? How about, Judge not, lest ye be judged? -- Derek Braybrooks, Irmo, South Carolina"

8 healthy foods you're not eating...but should be!

2007-11-08T16:22:00.000-05:00

Ostrich

Ostrich is a healthy and delicious lean substitute for any red or white meat -- including beef, chicken, turkey, pork or lamb -- in any of your favorite recipes. It absorbs your favorite seasonings and is loaded with protein, iron and zinc, one of the key ingredients for maintaining healthy eyes.

Beets

Beets are one of the best sources of folate, a nutrient which lowers your blood levels of homocysteine, an inflammatory amino acid produced by the body. Beets also contain betacyanins, an antioxidant which may prove to be a potent cancer fighter. One cup of beets provides only 60 calories, NO fat, about 40 percent of your daily value for folic acid and 4 grams of fiber.

Cabbage

One cup of chopped cabbage contains 20 calories, 2 grams fiber and is loaded with sulforaphane, a cancer-fighting chemical that’s been shown to decrease cellular damage throughout the body.

Guava

Guava is a tropical super fruit. One cup provides 110 calories, 376 milligrams Vitamin C (that’s more than 300 percent of the daily value), 699 milligrams potassium and 9 grams of fiber! Guava also provides a hearty dose of lycopene, an antioxidant that fights prostate cancer (when it comes to lycopene, most people only think about tomatoes).

Swiss chard

This vegetable’s greatest health benefit comes in the form of lutein and zeaxanthin, a matched pair of antioxidants found in high concentrations in the tissue of the macula (located in the center of the eye’s retina). Because they absorb 40 to 90 percent of blue-light intensity, these nutrients act like sunscreen for your eyes. Studies have shown that eating foods rich in lutein and zeaxanthin can increase the pigment density in the macula. Greater pigment density means better retina protection, and a lower risk of macula degeneration. At least one study has confirmed that eating foods with high amounts of these antioxidants seems to reduce the risk of developing macular degeneration.

Pumpkin seeds

Pumpkin seeds are an excellent source of magnesium, which has several proposed health benefits such as decreased risk of heart disease and diabetes. Plus, magnesium has been shown to reduce the frequency and intensity of migraine headaches. Eat them whole, shells and all. One ounce provides 150 calories, 9 grams protein, and 150 milligrams magnesium.

Pomegranate seeds

Pomegranate seeds are delicious, juicy, high in potassium, and a great source of fiber. What’s more, they’re rich in three different types of polyphenols -- tannins, anthocyanins, and ellagic acid –- which have been shown to help prevent cancer and heart disease.

Pistachio nuts

Pistachios naturally provide phytosterols and soluble fiber – two powerful plant compounds that help lower bad cholesterol (LDL-cholesterol). For 100 calories you get about 25 pistachio nuts (per nut, they’re the least caloric of all nuts), and because they’re in the shell, they’ll slow down your eating!

What It Means To Be A “Dip”

2007-11-07T14:52:00.000-05:00

By Jon Percepto

Regardless of what one thinks of a “dip” , they continue to remain the center of attention. Wherever one goes, especially in a crowd of people, “dips” can have personality . Oddly unique, colorful, usually the subject of some kind of special attention. What would life be without them , especially speculating on their character, or questioning their taste.

What makes a “dip” different from others we encounter in life? Why are they interesting to some while distasteful to others, especially if one acknowledges uniqueness as part of originality, being an odd kind of “dip” than one usually encounters requires that special touch. Perhaps a mix of different elements blended in a way unique only to them allows a particular “dips” transformation into the life of the party.

They vary in nature, drippy and amenable for those carrying a chip as opposed to those consistently “thick” and more resilient to anyone who may penetrate, stalking them with celery, carrot, or string bean, with or without nuts.

So-called Wine Tasting Experts

2007-11-06T13:44:00.000-05:00

In 2001, Frederic Brochet, of the University of Bordeaux, conducted two separate and very mischievous experiments. In the first test, Brochet invited 57 wine experts and asked them to give their impressions of what looked like two glasses of red and white wine. The wines were actually the same white wine, one of which had been tinted red with food coloring. But that didn't stop the experts from describing the "red" wine in language typically used to describe red wines. One expert praised its "jamminess," while another enjoyed its "crushed red fruit." Not a single one noticed it was actually a white wine.

The second test Brochet conducted was even more damning. He took a middling Bordeaux and served it in two different bottles. One bottle was a fancy grand-cru. The other bottle was an ordinary vin du table. Despite the fact that they were actually being served the exact same wine, the experts gave the differently labeled bottles nearly opposite ratings. The grand cru was "agreeable, woody, complex, balanced and rounded," while the vin du table was "weak, short, light, flat and faulty". Forty experts said the wine with the fancy label was worth drinking, while only 12 said the cheap wine was.

What these experiments neatly demonstrate is that the taste of a wine, like the taste of everything, is not merely the sum of our inputs, and cannot be solved in a bottom-up fashion. It cannot be deduced by beginning with our simplest sensations and extrapolating upwards. When we taste a wine, we aren't simply tasting the wine. This is because what we experience is not what we sense. Rather, experience is what happens when our senses are interpreted by our subjective brain, which brings to the moment its entire library of personal memories and idiosyncratic desires. As the philosopher Donald Davidson argued, it is ultimately impossible to distinguish between a subjective contribution to knowledge that comes from our selves (what he calls our "scheme") and an objective contribution that comes from the outside world ("the content"). Instead, in Davidson's influential epistemology, the "organizing system and something waiting to be organized" are hopelessly interdependent. Without our subjectivity we could never decipher our sensations, and without our sensations we would have nothing to be subjective about. In other words, we shouldn't be surprised that different people like different bottles of cheap wine.

A Simple Guide to 1st Anniversary Gifts

2007-11-05T03:00:00.000-05:00

submitted by James Marcus

Only four months into our marriage, it's still not too soon for me to consider anniversary presents for my lovely wife. Roses are just too predictable, and I already gave them to her for the wedding, so being someone who plans everything, I'm starting to think about any possible great gifts.

Every year the same question comes into play another year, another question what to give as an Anniversary gift, seems that at this point in our relationship, the free calender I got at work mentions that a relationship of our length merits clocks. In younger times a traditionalist would have offered paper. Well, being at traditionalist at heart, a paper clock would be appropriate or maybe a pad of paper clocks.

But what about next year? China? Cotton? Leather? The list goes on and on. If you talk to florists they would be the first ones to tell you that nothing says "happy anniversary" like a dozen long stem roses, that no doubt, cost them pennies to your $150.

There are no wedding gifts listed for anniversaries between the fifteenth and the twentieth. Why not? What makes a good 18th anniversary gift? By that time, the magic of marriage has faded quite a bit, leaving you with the dreaded "practical gift" as the most likely choice.

The "practical gift" is one of those gifts where you are sort of embarrassed that you took the time to wrap up. Dust mop heads and 75 watt light bulbs don't inspire the sort of romantic embrace as a diamond ring. They do, however let your wife know that you know what she really needs, even if she was about to run to the store and get it herself.

A much more economical choice for an anniversary gift is making a batch of "love coupons." Grab some kind of paper and create coupons good for a massage or household chore to be done by you without grumbling, redeemable any time. While still practical, this homemade gift proves that you put enough though and time in to show that you really care.

I hope this has given you a couple of ideas of what to do for your sweetheart. I guess the sky's the limit for me, but in the end I think I know what sort of anniversary gifts my wife will be getting.

Don't Be Lazy, Map Out Your Daily Goals

2007-11-04T02:43:00.000-05:00

by Lisa Page

Taking each business day, step by step, is the easiest way to succeed. You will be able to teach yourself a routine. Not only that, you will teach yourself, not be lazy. Procrastination is key to anyones failure. Laziness can take over, if you are not careful. Your main goal when you start any business, is to keep at it. Little by little, everyday keep at it. Don't take too much in for one day. If you get frustrated, take a break. The break you take will sometimes give you some great ideas, that you would have never thought of, if you were aggravated. Your daily goals should be written out once a week or once a day. Don't ever plan more than a week ahead, if you can help it. Plans can change so fast when you are just starting out. Your daily goals should be mapped out to reach your one main goal, maybe 6 months down the road. Make your main goal realistic and reachable. You are Probably not going to be a millionaire in 6 months.

Start off by writing out everything you would like to do tomorrow. Start off small until you get used to living a scheduled lifestyle. Maybe write 10 things that are important for you to accomplish tomorrow.

For instance; Novemember 8th to do list;

1. Wake up & shower

2. Go work out

3. Walk 2 miles

4. Go to Work

5. Pick up Kids from school

6. Help kids with homework

7. Post on your daily blog

8. Answer business emails

9. Work online (2 hours)

10. Call my wholesale distributor to place daily orders.

Just a simple checklist that you can use through the day. It is important to write down our daily goals. When you see something as a check list, it can make things easier. Check each daily goal off with a pen or pencil as you do each one. You are less likely to forget anything with a daily checklist. You will be able to concentrate on one thing at a time. With time they will become automatic. Also, your daily list will become more advanced as you keep it up. You will be able to add daily chores and actually do them.

Your road to success will be long and hard. Making daily goals will make everything less stressful. If you take on too much at once, it may cause you to quit from be overloaded. You want to make everything as simplified as possible. Nobody gets rich overnight unless you just won the lottery. You have to work hard to get what you want. And to get what you want, you have to keep at it every single day. One thing at a time.

Don't ever trust anyone to do your daily goals for you. This will only cause laziness and grief. There is an old saying " If you want it done right, do it yourself". Don't ever rely on anyone else, they won't care about your future as much as you will. Make sure you do everything a way, that you can understand and make capable of doing. Don't make your daily goals way out of reach or unrealistic.

Set your daily goals as easy to reach as the pen on your table. With time, you will notice your daily goals will be more successful than the day before. Your daily accomplishments will be getting closer to your one main goal. This is exactly what you want. Map out your road to success. Know what you want and chase it! Nothing will just come to you. You have to find out what you want and make it your one main goal. Your daily goals should all chase your one main goal. Step by step is the only way. But don't forget, once you start your road to success, you can't take one day off. That one day off will only cause procrastination to take over. Don't give up, ever!

Learn how to start your own home business by following this amazing step-by-step guide. Check out my Daily Blog.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lisa_Page

7 Secrets to Safe Kid Face Painting

2007-11-03T02:18:00.000-04:00

by Rashel Dan

Kid face painting sounds pretty okay for the first-time face painter, but before you start with the activity, there are a number of things you may want to consider. Children are different from adults in many ways. For one, they are more at risk of getting into accidents and secondly, they are more of a concern especially when it comes to their parents. Getting to know safety practices is a must especially if you are planning to go professional with your kid face painting activity.

The following are 7 simple secrets to a safer kid face painting:

1: Clean your hands to prevent infection and germs transferring from one child to the next. You can use soap and water or hand sanitizers in between sessions.

2: Make sure that you have everything you need and that the paints you are using are non-toxic and suitable for the skin. Paints that are not meant for the skin can cause allergic reactions like rashes. Also make sure you don't use ordinary metallic glitter, as these can irritate both the eyes and the skin. Always use clean tools. If you must, dip your brushes in clean water before every session.

3: Organize all needed tools in one place before even starting a kid face painting session. Having to go and get other tools or materials will leave the child unattended. The child may accidentally fall off the chair or hurt his or her eyes with the paint and other tools.

4: Make the child behave and explain to him or her the need to be still while you are face painting. A child who is constantly moving or making sudden movements presents a risk of getting into an accident. The paint may go into the eyes or your painting tools can cause bruising or cuts. There are several ways to keep a child comfortable and you can find different techniques on kid face painting over the Internet.

5: Make sure you are seated comfortably. If you are in an awkward position you can trip and injure the child in front of you. Also make sure you are in a wide space-if you are in a cooped-up area other children who may be playing or running around can accidentally hit you or the seated child.

6: Make sure you use a gentle cleanser and warm water when you wash off paint. You can also dampen a piece of cotton to clean the face. Don't rub on the skin, as this can cause irritation.

7: Have breaks in between sessions. Drink water if you are thirsty and eat when hungry. When you aren't able to focus properly, not only will you make mistakes but you might also poke the child by accident.

If you keep these 7 tips to safer kid face painting, you'll definitely enjoy the activity more and worry less whether you are doing the right thing in kid face painting. You will be able to work your way up to being a professional face painter while avoiding confrontations from other parents. For more safety tips on kid face painting, you can scan through face painting books in the library or simply print out information online.

Uncover your creative energy with face painting! Know more about the easy and exciting art of face painting in 7 easy steps!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Rashel_Dan

Proverb

2007-11-02T01:53:00.000-04:00

Keep five yards from a carriage, ten yards from a horse, and a hundred yards from an elephant; but the distance one should keep from a wicked man cannot be measured. -- Indian Proverb

Five Tips to Get Healthy While Reducing Stress

2007-11-01T01:24:00.000-04:00

Here are 5 useful tips to remind you to take a time out to play, laugh, and stress less.

Re-establish "childlike" qualities. Explore the healing power of play. Our mind, body and soul are renewed when we play. Get online, play a game and have some fun!
Laugh as often as possible to release endorphins, or healing hormones. It increases artery diameter by 22% and is a great source of stress reduction.
Remaining connected socially with family and friends has health benefits. If you can't go out, go online.
Practice daily stress reduction (Meditation, yoga, deep breathing) at least 10 minutes twice a day (morning and evening) to lower blood pressure, your heart rate and give you an immune boost.
Exercise at least 20 - 30 minutes every other day. Blend or alternate aerobics with strength training, stretching, flexibility and agility exercises for an endorphin boost. Exercise is a great antidote to depression and stress.

Qwippy

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INTERCOURSE, PENNSYLVANIA

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Laws of Yesterday

Here are a few state laws that were put on the books from years gone by... most of which have been rescinded. But some have not, so be careful out there!

In Oklahoma, dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate on private property in groups of three or more.

In Minnesota, it is illegal to cross state lines with a duck on your head.

It is illegal to walk down a street in Maine with your shoelaces untied.

In Los Angeles, it is unlawful to hunt for moths under a street light.

In Pennsylvania, it is illegal for a man to purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife.

In Alaska, it is illegal to look at a moose from the window of an aircraft or another flying vehicle. It is also illegal to push a live moose out of a moving aircraft.

In Nebraska, a parent can be arrested if his or her child can't hold a back a burp during a church service. While in Alabama it is illegal to wear a false moustache which causes laughter in church.

In Idaho, a citizen is forbidden by law to give another citizen a box of candy that weights more than 50 lbs.

In Texas it is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.

In Huntington West Virginia, it's legal to beat your wife so long as it's done in public on a Sunday-and on the courthouse steps.

In Ohio, women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.

In North Dakota, it is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.

By law, everybody in Vermont must take at least one bath a week.

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