Perks of Getting Older

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
4. People call at 9 pm and ask, "Did I wake you?"
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat supper at 4 pm.
9. You can live without sex but not your glasses. No matter who walks into the room
10. You sing along with elevator music.
11. Your eyes won't get much worse.
12 . Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
13. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
14. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
15. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

Dog Stops Traffic To Protect Injured Mom on NYC Highway

NYC rush hour traffic got even worse than usual when a a 9-year-old female yellow lab chow mix ran onto the Major Deegan Expressway and was hit by a car. Luckily the dog's son protected her from on coming traffic and even police that were trying to help! Check out the video below to see just how protective the son was of the injured mother! The situation lasted about an hour and surely fueled some fire for road raged stricken NYC drivers! The injured dog is being treated for a broken leg and is expected to recover.

Video link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1GVzlxk10k

Sisters of St. Francis House of Prostitution

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway in Nevada when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought.

Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 5 MILES

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you, my son?"

He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business."

"Very well my son. Please follow me." He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, "Please knock on this door."

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door. This nun instructs, "Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway."

He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him.

The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:

GO IN PEACE. YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS. SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER!