A sons letter to his Mom

Dear Mom:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing

you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted

to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I have been finding real

passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would

not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos,

tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older

than I am. But it's not only the passion... Mom

she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood

for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more

children.

Stacy has opened my eye s to the fact that marijuana

doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for

ourselves and trading it with the other people that live

nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray

that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get

better. She deserves it. Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and

I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that

we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your

grandchildren.

Love,

Your Son Paul

P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at

Dustin's house. I just wanted to remind you that there

are worse things in life than the report card that's in

my center desk drawer.

I love you.

Call me when it's safe to come home.