Dear Mom:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing
you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted
to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I have been finding real
passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would
not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos,
tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older
than I am. But it's not only the passion... Mom
she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood
for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more
children.
Stacy has opened my eye s to the fact that marijuana
doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for
ourselves and trading it with the other people that live
nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray
that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get
better. She deserves it. Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and
I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that
we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your
grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son Paul
P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at
Dustin's house. I just wanted to remind you that there
are worse things in life than the report card that's in
my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.
